As promised in the name of my blog "Loads of Randomness", so in the spirit of randomness I start my first blog by writing about Keebler™ Elfin Crackers. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting these little crackers well...that's a shame.
I first met these little guys when I was a sophomore in college. I went to Southern Nazarene University in Bethany, OK. I also drove school bus K-12(Yes, they let 18 year olds drive other 18 year olds...weird, but paid well.) You couldn't go 10 feet without seeing a vending machine on campus and we had one at the bus depot as well. I guess the stars aligned or the earth cracked or maybe there was just a new buyer for these machines, but one day I looked in to see these said Elfin Crackers. Now I was broke as a joke in college and the good money I did make went straight to tuition and gas for my car so 55 cents was a splurge for me, but I did it. I was hungry and something had to be done. You get the picture.
Little did I know the taste-splotion waiting for me inside that little bag of 2.5 grams of fat. A delightful and also familiar flavor happened. I got about two-thirds of the way through the bag when it hit me...."These taste just like the Ronald McDonald Cookies I grew up eating at McD's!!!". I think I actually said "McD's" in my head. Hey, its the same amount of syllables, but it feels shorter. Kind of like www. Its so much faster to say World Wide Web, but www feels faster. I digress.
So, I enjoyed the bag and quickly fell into the college logic that I could afford 55 cents over and over again (probably a hundred or so times in my journey to higher education), but I wouldn't allow myself to have a $5 value meal at McD's....as my friend Rick would say that's ape logic. This little snack was like crack. Ooo! I bet that's why they're called "cracker's"!
On a roadtrip home from college I thought I would stop at a Wal-Mart to buy a big bag for the 12 hour trip. To my dismay there were NONE...NOne....none(that was an echo if you didn't know)!!! Come to find out no one carries them. The only way to feed my new addiction was back at school in a vending machine or at random gas stations that knew of their glory. I posted this picture for you to see how they are sold at a gas station.
A few years after college I was reminiscing about my days driving bus and my love affair with the Elfin Cracker. This quickly inspired me to look on the Keebler website to see if they were available under another name in a box bigger than 2 oz. Sadly...no. I quickly wrote a passionate letter to their support team to let them know how great I thought the product was and that I would do anything to get them at a grocery store if they were available. I got no response.Now before I finish this ridiculously long post I want to say that I'm not mad at Keebler. I'm just a fan that loves their cracker and would like to have it on a regular basis. So, if an employee of Keebler happens to stumble upon this post let your people know that there is demand, even if only from one guy in Nashville, TN.
Keebler's latest slogan is "Uncommonly made. Uncommonly good." I totally agree with this slogan, but when it comes to the Elfin Cracker it should be "Uncommonly good. Uncommonly found." I hope that in your going you'll look down the aisles of your local gas station, and if you see this little gem that you'll pick it up and allow it to change your world. But I'll warn you in a day in age when scarcity is currency, scarcity will haunt your 4pm blood pressure drop.
Holla!!!
